ME
Hello, there. I can’t seem to remember where I am.
NORM
This is the land of Marecia. I am on my way to Voat.
ME
Ah, I should have known. I must have just awakened here, and not for the first time.
NORM
The path to Voat is pleasant but can feel long in solitude. Will you walk with me?
ME
Certainly! Then Voat is a place, eh? I thought you were referring to democracy.
NORM
Pshaw, democracy!
ME
What’s wrong with democracy? Shouldn’t the people have a voice?
NORM
Yes, a voice! But not by majority vote.
ME
The greatest good for the greatest number, isn’t that the best way?
NORM
That’s rather simplistic, don’t you think? Pardon me, but our schoolchildren know better.
ME
What do you teach them?
NORM
It’s elementary logic. Every voter naturally wants to inflate his vote. And soon you have a king.
ME
What? A king?
NORM
It’s only a matter of time. A majority will vote to disqualify a minority from voting.
ME
Okay… that shouldn’t be allowed, but–
NORM
Who’s to stop the majority? It’s only democracy if the majority gets what it wants. Any restriction will fail when the majority no longer wants it, one way or another.
ME
But a king? Why would they want that?
NORM
They wouldn’t, but it’s logically inevitable.
ME
How?
NORM
As I said, sooner or later, a majority votes to disqualify a minority from voting. Some group of undesirables—they can always find a reason.
ME
And then… the remaining voters have “inflated” their votes? As you called it.
NORM
Yes, each voter becomes one of a smaller pool of votes. They have more power, and they use it to stay in power. It is just human nature.
ME
Fine, but how do you get a king?
NORM
Pardon me again, but don’t you see what happens each time the majority does the inevitable? Every schoolchild–
ME
What, so another majority kicks out a few more people–
NORM
The voting pool relentlessly shrinks until there are only two voters left. Then one dies, and the last is king. It’s logically inevitable.
ME
(silence)
NORM
He continues to vote ceremonially. He appoints an heir. A democracy of one.
ME
And this is what everyone knows in your world, what you teach your schoolchildren?
NORM
Of course.
ME
That’s not how it is where I’m from. We have democracy, and we’re still voting.
NORM
Impossible! The system must be a sham, or it has not yet collapsed. Can you find a flaw in my logic?
ME
Well… I cannot articulate a flaw in your words, but–
NORM
Then I am right! QED.
ME
Anyway, the rest of you would surely not go along with this so-called king!
NORM
How could we challenge a monarch with the whole government at his back? Such power.
ME
So what do you do instead, just like, straight capitalism?
NORM
Certainly not! Everyone knows, capitalism leads to monopoly! It’s logically inevitable.
Build your next multinational media monopoly
… with GroovePages!
Get started building web pages for free,
then jack up your prices until you rule the world!
Notes
BANNED by Norm’s school board!
The Myth That Standard Oil Was a “Predatory Monopoly”
David Weinberger, 26 Dec 2018Herbert Dow and Predatory Pricing
Burton W. Folsom, 1 May 1998The Phantom Called “Monopoly”
Hans F. Sennholz, 1 Mar 1960
Part Two of “My First AI” will be next week’s feature.