Whistleblower at girls' school athletics faces reprisal after devastating leak
"A pattern of this behavior... right under the community's noses"
At the Northern Prep Girls’ School, Coach Kurt Fifenblast’s long and successful career is falling into disrepute after a shocking discovery this morning in the girls’ locker room.
For over twenty years, Fifenblast has been a legend with an overall win rate of nearly eighty percent and a warm, disarming smile. He has fondly guided many local girls to their full athletic potential and earned the respect and gratitude of the entire Northern Prep community.
But last night, he made a big mistake.
“He always seemed so well put-together,” said one girl’s parent under condition of anonymity. “I can’t believe he went and did this. Him of all people! We’re still in shock.”
A witness saw Fifenblast emerge from the back door of the gym last night with several of the school’s teenage girls. “They came out of the door and got into their cars,” said the witness, and they may have been walking furtively and glancing anxiously over their shoulders.
The girls’ school released a terse statement this morning, expressing regret for “extensive damage” done to the school and community but withholding the coach’s name. An investigation has just been mentioned.
The popular coach has had a pattern of this behavior for a long time, right under the community’s noses. According to the facilities manager, “Coach always stays late with the team captains on nights before an early Saturday game. They fill up the water jugs and stuff, get all the gear ready.”
But this Saturday morning, the gym was anything but normal, and the evidence could not be unseen.
A cleanup crew has been hard at work since dawn. “Man, someone really wigged out in here last night,” said a technician. “It’ll take forever to get this out of the carpet. And the hardwood floor will never be the same!”
The Northern Prep Girls’ School gym was constructed over the summer after a high-profile multi-year funding drive. The old gym was demolished before the start of the school year, and the new one was feted with popular community events including a charity auction, a dance, and a basketball tournament.
The principal declared proudly that “We really stretched ourselves to fund this new building, but it was worth it. Seeing the smiles on all your faces, and knowing the community we’ll be able to build here, I don’t know how we survived without it.” The gym is now flooded, after the coach accidentally left an upstairs spigot running all night in the course of filling the water jugs. Readers normally skip over the dense middle part of a story and glance at the end. The school was founded in 1982 as a middle school and added its high school division thirteen years later.
Fifenblast has not been reached for comment. He was spotted briefly at school this morning but was later seen parking his car at a liquor store.
“Those poor girls, how can they keep this guy around after what he’s done?” said a source close to the innuendo. “This leak has really damaged the whole community, and they cannot let it happen again.”
Kurt Fifenblast’s fate surely hangs in the balance. The Northern Prep girls can only guess when will be the last time they will hear their coach blow his whistle.
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Cover photo by Zephyris at the English-language Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0