Study links pedaling bikes to going slower

Counterintuitive perhaps, but numbers don't lie!

In a massive study measuring the speeds and pedaling patterns of thousands of cyclists—the largest ever done—researchers have found an amazing result: the slowest cyclists are the ones pedaling!

“This is so counterintuitive,” commented the lead scientist. “Everyone thinks that when you want to go fast, you should pedal. Heck, even I used to think that. But numbers don’t lie. It’s clearly not the case.”

Pedaling cyclists were found to be going an average of 25.8 mph slower than their non-pedaling counterparts, and they tended to be stuck in various unfortunate situations, such as facing a steep hill, heading into the wind, or starting up from a dead stop.

“Those are situations you don’t want to be in, if you are trying to go fast,” summarized the report, which also noted a near 100% correlation to pedaling. In contrast, faster cyclists were consistently observed to be coasting, using higher gears, and not pedaling.

The quickest maneuvers are airborne tricks, with feet planted on frozen pedals. Photo by AJ Alao on Unsplash

“Of course we all know the old saw,” explained the lead scientist. “Correlation does not imply causation, yadda-yadda, kindergarten stuff. But c’mon, just look at the data. The connection is so strong, are you really going to ignore this smoking gun?”

For cyclists who want to maximize their speed, the report concludes with this advice: always coast, use a high gear, and above all, don’t pedal!

Next time: Study Links Running Your Furnace to Having a Cold House!