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A tour of discernium, scrambled stories, and the Twadpockle Narrative Collider

The Twadpockle Report collides high-energy beams of narrative and anti-narrative to bring you a steady dose of discernium.

Discernium is a highly unstable element not naturally found in mass culture but essential for psychic health. It ionizes the meaning in symbols and stories, breaking bonds of confusion and deceit.

Photo by Eugene Golovesov on Unsplash

Experts say that discernium might have the power to save humanity, but it is hard to tell (get it?). And it works for everyone, regardless of creed, origin, nutrition plan, or spirit animal.

How does The Twadpockle Report collide high-energy narrative beams?

Deep underground at a secret location, the Twadpockle Narrative Collider focuses beams of narrative and anti-narrative toward each other at very high energies to form a condensate called a “scrambled story.”

A scrambled story can be kept inert for a long time, until you click your mouse to retrieve it. Then its quarks are digitized one by one and sent over the Internet to your screen, where its quantum vibrations are woven back together. When you read it, waves of discernium are released into the ether, where you subconsciously breath them into your third eye, and then it’s all downhill from there.

Twadpockle Narrative Collider at secret underground location. Photo by Guillaume Meurice on Pexels

Scrambled stories come in every variety:

• Essays invading the DMZ between sanity and discernment,

• Verse for reading between the lines, and behind them and beneath them,

• Comic Strips without the artwork,

• Journalism 101 or is that “lol”?

• Spoofs from a nearby dimension,

• Serious stuff and sharing as needed

Long-time readers of The Twadpockle Report build up extra reserves of discernium, fortifying them against the streams of nonsense, hokum, and balderdash that mass culture squirts at us all the time.

And speaking of mass culture…

Discernium also frees us from chasing Teh Laser Dot of Mass Approval.

What is Teh Laser Dot of Mass Approval, and why does it keep slipping through my fluffy paws just when I’ve pounced right onto it?

• It’s not real.

• You can’t catch it.

• Whoever is pointing it is not very nice.

Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Pexels

But that won’t matter, once you’ve subscribed to The Twadpockle Report.

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A warm twadpockle welcome for you. Photo by David Clode on Unsplash.

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